My wife does not seem to value exercise nearly as much as I do. She has been getting more and more overweight over the years. I love her very much and I want her to live a long healthy life. Her family has a history of diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol and I’m worried she is harming her health.
I have tried buying her exercise machines but she absolutely hates to use them, so I’m the only one who ends up using them. When I ask her if she’s exercised, she complains about not having enough time. So I try to bargain with her by offering to do household chores while she exercises, but I do the chores and she doesn’t stick to her end of the bargain because she’s “too tired” or she “doesn’t feel well” or some other excuse.
She also gets depressed that she’s not as skinny as she used to be, but she doesn’t seem willing to do anything about it. Has anyone experienced a similar situation with their spouse? What can I do to help her get over her aversion to exercise?
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September 14th, 2009 | 
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My husband and I have been though this.For several years he has wanted me to loose weight.Only because he wants me to be healthy.He bought me a treadmill for Christmas one year.It took me almost two years to use it.Now I use it.The more pressure he put on me about exercise the less I wanted to do it.Women that are over weight feel bad anyway.And the way I felt was that I was not good enough for my husband.But the way you can get her to workout is to give her some space.And let her know that you will workout with her.Go for walks in the park.Maybe take walks in a nature park.And when she does loose weight even if it is 10 lbs buy her a new outfit or something that she really likes.If you have a treadmill tell her to walk at a slow pace for ten mins.then rest.A person has to work up to walking longer.I worked up to 30 mins. a day 2 miles per hr.I have read that if you walk at a slow pace you burn more calories.She can even do 15 mins. in the morning and 15 mins in the evening.Until she gets use to it.Also she has to change her diet.I like to eat smart one dinners.One for lunch and one for dinner.For breakfast 1/2 cup of oatmeal 8 ozs of skim milk a day.But the more pressure you put on her I feel that it just makes her feel bad.I hope this helps.
My boyfriend tried this with me and it worked. buy her a fab outfit and make sure she does not FIT into it..tha’ll make her guilty about her weight. maybe take her out to a beach or any place where she’ll get to see a lot of toned bodies.. casually appreciate how nice they look. The J word ought to do the work for you.
if this does not work get her a gym membership.. the trainer will force her to work out..
here is what i do. my husband also hates to exercise. so, i ease exercise in by: shopping. yes! shopping we walk around for hours looking for an item that i “need”. by the time we find that item i think of one more thing that i need. seriously, i do this after we have lunch or dinner as often as i can get away with it. he hasn’t caught on yet.
You can suggest counseling. You CAN”T make someone see a problem they have…the person themself must see she has a problem and WANT to get help.
Give all the love you can and let her know how concerned you are about her. Give her an ear she could speak to.
Hugs,
tell her she would die soon if she wont do exercises.
Wow… I’m sorry. You seem to be supportive, but to her in might seem like nagging. What you need to do is to ask her to exercise with you, but don’t call it exercise. Suggest you go for a nice long walk. Ask her to join you for a game of tennis or to shoot some hoops. If you don’t play, maybe suggest that the two of you take lessons. Maybe a park near you has boats that you can rent. Can be romantic AND a good upper body workout. Just don’t call it exercise. That sounds like a chore. Make it sound like play.
Remember, exercise is only half the equation. If you are not eating a well-balanced, calorie restricted diet, then you may be shooting yourself in the foot.
I’ve had this exact situation w/ my mother. She had a heart attack a few years back and has not lost any significant weight. She now has diabetes b/c of it!
Unfortunately, you can only do so much. I always like to say that you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. If she doesn’t want to exercise and continues to make excuses about not doing it, there’s not a lot you can do about it. You’re done all you can do as far as being supportive, helpful, kind and gentle. Only she will know when she’s had enough and it’s time to get moving. Good luck!
ps – Many kudos to you for caring about her so! She’s lucky to have you!
Take her to dancing lessons , like salsa or something where you can both exercise together and have fun, it will be romantic, fun, sexy and she will loose weight.